The most significant action you can take to change your life is to simply decide you are going to make the change. You can decide to make your life better in so many different ways that it really is an unlimited power. You can decide to improve yourself in any way you can imagine. You can decide to be more supportive of others. You can decide to be better at anything. You can even decide that something is just no longer worth your time and effort and that it needs to be left behind. You can decide anything you want, but once you have made the decision how do you incorporate the choice into your life? Sometimes you just need to fake it ’til you make it.
For instance, I have decided to be happy today (and I hope you have too!). I promise this is not always an easy choice to stick with – not nearly as easy as it might at first thought seem to be. Things, people, and even pets can challenge this choice – and they often do. When things start to get to me I take a minute to remember that I have decided to be happy today. Then I pretend for a few minutes that I actually am happy – even if things are getting in my way and I’m not really feeling happy at all.
Things such as my computer won’t connect to WiFi for no apparent reason, or my coworker flaked on his part of a project, or even if my neighbor’s dog leaves unwanted gifts in my yard – I have decided to be happy today and I am going to fake happiness for just a few minutes if I have to in order to not let these things get in the way of my choice. In my “faking it” process I first take a deep breath and remember why I made the choice to be happy today in the first place. I don’t want to go through my day feeling like crap. I don’t want to be irritated or cranky. I do want the people around me to feel their best and I don’t want to influence them to feel anything less. Thinking about why I have made the choice to be happy helps me to keep things in perspective. In faking happiness for just a few necessary minutes I actually start to feel better about the situation. Next thing you know I am not faking it anymore – I actually am feeling happy just as I set out to do. Then I can logically address each of the irritants and resolve the issues.
I got my teen son to correct the computer situation because he is so very good at those things. I addressed my issue with my flaky coworker and put together a plan to resolve it. Then I made certain I don’t get assigned to projects with him again in the future. To deal with the problems delivered by the neighbors pet I programmed my sprinkler system to be watering at the very same time my neighbor lets her pet out to relieve himself every morning. Apparently dogs don’t like to relieve themselves faced with streams of water shooting from the ground.
Problems solved – issues managed – made it, no longer faking it.
Effective faking it until you achieve the creation of your calm is OK – even necessary sometimes. To judge how effective your faking it really is simply consider the amount of time you spend faking as opposed to really being it. If your choice is relatively new then you may find yourself faking it more often than not. Don’t give up. If the choice is worthwhile (and we will assume it is) you will find that as time passes you will incorporate the choice into your life more and more naturally as time passes. Soon you will find you are faking it less and less as time passes. This is because you have made it. Congratulations!
What challenges do you face in bringing your decisions to reality? Could you fake your way through it until you make it?